the creative blog of alyssa j.

Facebook.

2011-09-07T16:36:00.001-04:00

Facebook., a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Like.

Temperament

2011-08-31T13:32:00.001-04:00

Temperament a video by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Entirety.

Untitled

2011-08-24T22:41:00.001-04:00

Untitled, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
“To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.”
- Mary Oliver

Nic

2011-08-23T13:51:00.001-04:00

Nic, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I had to privilege of a borrowed fisheye lens for about a half an hour, and here is the result.

image © alyssa jiosa

Self

2011-08-03T14:27:00.001-04:00

Self, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
© alyssa jiosa

Press L.

Self

2011-07-27T14:36:00.001-04:00

Self, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Teardrops on your fire
Burning in my heart, today.

Entirely inspired by this.

Self

2011-07-26T19:07:00.001-04:00

Self, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Now the waves they drag you down
Carry you to broken ground
Though I find you in the sand
Wipe you clean with dirty hands

More coming soon. Part of my "Self" series - I wanted haunted, disheveled intensity, but I promise I'm not mad. This series is more for practicing editing techniques and expressing myself than for the actual self-portraits . . . but I'm in the habit of taking one self-portrait a week, and I miss it. It was my main artistic outlet.

Also, if you want to volunteer to model, let me know. :)

image © alyssa jiosa

Bracelets

2011-07-23T17:14:00.001-04:00

Bracelets, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

I have an affinity for hippie bracelets.

image © alyssa jiosa

Polaroid

2011-07-22T17:00:00.001-04:00

Polaroid, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Experimenting with free polaroid photoshop actions. I likeee.

Image © alyssa jiosa

Anya

2011-07-19T15:33:00.001-04:00

Anya, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I love the tones in this. I finally feel like my photography composition and editing is heading in the direction I want it to go.

© alyssa jiosa

They're just bones, my dear.

2011-07-16T13:11:00.001-04:00

They're just bones, my dear., a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
'cause I've been to the darkest place I know so you, my dear, shouldn't fear what lies below - It's just bones.

I went shopping yesterday by myself in Hillsboro Village, the road of artsy boutiques and independent restaurants. It's a lovely area, and I took this is a bookshop there. It's smells of well-worn stories, musk, and history, and it has many tiny closet-sized "rooms" which are barely big enough to breathe in, which are completely filled with books. A person such as this could get lost in this place. The utter timelessness of it was enchanting. These words have been written - some of them as recently as last year, others over a hundred years ago, and here I am in the presence of endless knowledge. It seemed like a shop out of a movie. Anything could happen.

Unlike many of the other stores, this one was nearly deserted and quiet. You listen to pages falling, you could hear your own breathing. Your feet rested on soft, cushiony carpet. You can't hear the traffic through the walls. It's just you.
You, and these bones.

Meadowlark

2011-07-15T21:40:00.001-04:00

Meadowlark, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Meadowlark, fly your way down
I hold a and a cornucopia golden crown . . .

Image © alyssa jiosa

Diner

2011-07-14T18:09:00.001-04:00

Diner, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Wanderers this morning came by . . .
Where did they go?

Listen to the entire album, Fleet Foxes, by Fleet Foxes. I highly recommend it.

image © alyssa jiosa

Albert

2011-07-14T17:19:00.001-04:00

Albert, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
From my Nairobi, Kenya missions trip.

His name is Albert. He owns a school there and often allows children to attend at his own expense.
He assumed the first time I witnessed an African mosquito, I'd run screaming back to America.
When I told him mosquitoes exist in America, too, he repeatedly laughed and exclaimed, "You are joking!"
"No," I smiled. "But we don't have monkeys."
"Whhaat?" He laughed again. To give you a better idea as to what his voice sounded like, think of Rafiki's voice from The Lion King (I've heard that "Rafiki" means friend in Swahili, the language spoken in Kenya).

And, as it turns out, it is legal and acceptable for men (as friends) to hold hands, so one team member had the honor to experience this local custom with Albert. :)

image © alyssa jiosa

52

2011-07-14T14:51:00.001-04:00

52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I'm finished.

52 | 52

2011-07-14T14:37:00.001-04:00

52 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
7 | 14 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #34: Foreign

I'M FINISHED!

This is unreal to me. I can't believe I've done this for a year. One picture a week for 52 weeks . . . It's unreal to me.

So . . . what's next? I have no idea. I'm going to take a short break, I think, to rejuvenate my creative innovation.
I'm so proud and amazed at how far I've come in a year, and I'm so excited to look back a year from now to see how much further I have improved.
Thank you for following, inspiring, encouraging, critiquing, and experiencing my 52-Week Project with me.

As for inspiration music for this week's theme . . . I listened to the Mumford & Sons, Laura Marling, Dharohar Project EP.

Notes: the scarf I bought in Uganda (as well as the peacock feather earrings I'm wearing, but are cropped out), and the paper bead necklace is from Rwanda. The coin necklace I bought from Jacaranda Creations, the women I worked with in Kenya. The other necklace is from my parents' trip to Jamaica. I'm also wearing another scarf and cross pendant you can't see that I bought in Ethiopia. I have so much foreign memorabilia that it was difficult to choose which to wear.

And yes, as of now, I'm diptych-obsessed.

Church

2011-07-12T17:03:00.001-04:00

Church, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Maasai Land, in the wilds of Kenya. It was the only building that could be seen for miles.

Processed to look like film.

Image © alyssa jiosa

School

2011-07-09T19:13:00.001-04:00

School, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
School children in Maruri slum of Nairobi, Kenya.

image © alyssa jiosa

Nairobi

2011-07-08T19:02:00.001-04:00

Nairobi, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I took this image of a teacher at a school in Nairobi, Kenya, (more specifically, in a slum called Maruri) during my missions trip there a few weeks ago. I wish I had asked for her name. I wish I was there. I miss it so much.

She is strikingly beautiful.

© alyssa jiosa

51 | 52

2011-07-07T17:16:00.001-04:00

51 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
7 | 7 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #33: Health

I'm so close to being finished with my 52-week project. I don't know if I'll keep submitting to Teleidoscope, though I doubt I'll stop - I like the challenge, success, and failure of being forced to interpret different themes in photography.

50 | 52

2011-07-02T20:53:00.001-04:00

50 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
7 | 2 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #32: Fame

Who the heck have I been kidding?
I sold my soul to the corporation.
You know me better than I know myself . . . I better shut it up. I better shut it up.

Fame does funny things to people.

Almost caught up on my 52-Week Project.

My Love & I

2011-07-01T17:31:00.001-04:00

My Love & I, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
A picture of me and my love. It's the type of picture that needs to be retaken every so often, so show how you both have grown.

I love the processing too much not to share.

Photo © alyssa jiosa

Kevin

2011-06-28T13:24:00.001-04:00

Kevin, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I took this while in Nairobi, Kenya, in a slum called Maruri. His name is Kevin. He is three years old, and healthy. But two years ago, when my team leader met him, he was dying.

His mother, Virginia, brewed beer in her shack's floor. This is looked down upon in the slums, but it provided barely enough money to survive. It also provided a release, and an addiction.

When Rhonda and Brenda (a missionary who lives in Nairobi) read Psalm 91 to Virginia, she was drunk. She cried, lifted her hand, and accepted Christ. This change allowed her to release Kevin for medical care, which saved his life.

Virginia now values her children's lives. She no longer brews beer in her floor. Her home is clean, her smile wide, and her joy true. She still lives in the slums. But she has hope.

If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent. Psalm 91:9-13

Self

2011-06-25T22:35:00.001-04:00

Self, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Waiting for that sinking feeling,
It's all that keeps me together,
And I’m so scared to let it unwind,
Waiting for that same old feeling.

Malindi Macchiato

2011-06-25T20:45:00.001-04:00

Malindi Macchiato, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Only love is all maroon . . .
Lapping lakes like leary loons, leaving rope burns . . . reddish ruse.

Coffee

2011-06-25T20:09:00.001-04:00

Coffee, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Don’t go thinking that you can run and dance while others sing -
I’ll come running and find a way to set your slaves all free.

I miss Java House so much.

Trap

2011-06-24T21:48:00.001-04:00

Trap, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Outtake from week 46. It fits how I feel right now. Sooc.
© alyssa jiosa

48 | 52

2011-06-23T20:03:00.001-04:00

48 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
6 | 23 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #30: Animals

I'm back! Nearly one month later, I'm picking up where I left off on my 52-Week Project. It's been a nice break, actually. I was almost hesitant to start again, but I'm determined to finish this. I'm so close.

I can't decide if I like this image. I like the tonality, and I like the way I edited it, but I'm unsure as to whether or not I like it as a whole. It's striking, but not the vision I had when I first began this theme's picture. Opinions are welcome.

Take these animals again,
And wrap your ropes around them.
Let the demon take you in,
and tell us stories about him.

I will follow you.

Amsterdam

2011-06-17T20:33:00.002-04:00

Amsterdam, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I'm back!

I just arrived home late last night (after a miserably long layover in Detroit with my awful cold) from my missions trip in Nairobi, Kenya! It was absolutely incredible. I could have stayed longer - and I wish I could have stayed longer. My team was a perfect fit, and every single individual played a role. We cried together, prayed together, lived together, laughed together, survived together. I am so proud of them all for allowing God to use their specific talents in affecting the lives of men, women, and children.

On our way to Nairobi, we had a lovely 5-hour layover in Amsterdam. So after purchasing train tickets (which were never required - I think we easily could have ridden the train without them) we rode into the city at 6:00 am to walk through the streets. Our goal was to reach Anne Frank's home, which wasn't yet open (not for another 4 hours, which we knew, yet there were people in line outside already) but I loved just experiencing Amsterdam as is by walking through. Birds, the only locals awake, chirped and flew, diving among the canals and trellises. Graffiti decorated stairs, doors, electrical boxes, and brick walls. Trash lined the street, awaiting pickup. Beer cans and cigarette stubs - the only evidence of the human debauchery that went on the night before - decorated window frames and steps. There were bikes absolutely everywhere. Hundreds of thousands chained to fences, light posts, walls, whatever. I was utterly amazed. House boats bobbed pleasantly in the canals, decorated with picture perfect flower pots and miniature porthole windows. Regularly, you could see curtains gently fluttering in the wind from attic apartments. Each building was narrow and unique, combining elegant European architecture with modernized touches.
Some of our group was nearly hit by a man speeding in his smart car. Others were greeted by a passing biker with English expletives. Not even the coffee shops (well known for other infamous stimulants than coffee) weren't even open.
We even walked by stairs leading down into a brothel - a red light illuminating the window. In it you could see a woman getting ready for the workday.

Our visit in Amsterdam was short. It is the first European city I've ever visited, and it was more beautiful than I could have dreamed. it is also a very sad place. I cannot even imagine the lives lived there by prostituted women. Yet, given the chance, I would return. As of now, my future career plan is to study communications - photography, videography, writing, graphic design - and apply it in a position with a nonprofit organization. And if that cause is to free women from prostitution . . . I would go where I was sent.

There are many more pictures to come. Thanks for reading. I hope I was able to share a bit of the beauty I witnessed in the Netherlands!

Pause

2011-05-31T23:33:00.002-04:00

Pause, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Dear Friends,

As of now, my 52-Week Project is on pause. I won't be posting for a few weeks, because, on Friday, I will be leaving for my missions trip in Nairobi, Kenya. I am so thankful of the support I have received. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.

See you in two weeks!

- Alyssa

"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:10-12

Quote by Anne Frank

© alyssa jiosa
Thank You for the +30,000 Views.

Chloe & Emily

2011-05-31T23:30:00.000-04:00

Chloe:

Emily:

Caleb

2011-05-31T19:49:00.000-04:00

Sooc.

Show Hope "The Movement" Event

Band: CALEB

Dad

2011-05-29T00:33:00.002-04:00

Dad, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Dad.
Old. Sooc.
© alyssa jiosa

Megan

2011-05-29T00:32:00.008-04:00

Megan, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
© alyssa jiosa

47 | 52

2011-05-29T00:32:00.007-04:00

47 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
5 | 27 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #29: The Four Elements: Earth
Outtake.

I couldn't decide between this and my other earth image. Opinions, please?

Also, playing with editing techniques again. Let me know what you think of that as well.

Finally, I promise I'm not mad in this picture and I didn't want to look mad. But compositionally (aside from my face) this was my favorite from this shoot.

In exactly a week I'll be on my way to Nairobi, Kenya. I can't wait.

Earth

2011-05-29T00:32:00.006-04:00

Earth, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
52 outtake.

Heart of Stone

2011-05-24T18:50:00.002-04:00

Heart of Stone, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Never break this heart of stone. Oh, no, no, this heart of stone.

What's different about her?
I don't really know.

A friend of mine pointed this rock out to me while we were walking by a creek. It was too beautiful to not photograph. I love the colors.

Sooc.
© alyssa jiosa

Self

2011-05-21T23:01:00.002-04:00

Self, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I needed a new facebook profile picture, and I am so happy with how this came out.

Lillie

2011-05-21T18:06:00.002-04:00

Lillie, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I'm in the mood for blue tones and decay.

I took this in a decayed house on my friend's property.

© alyssa jiosa

46 | 52

2011-05-21T15:44:00.002-04:00

46 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
5 | 21 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #28: Traps
I am so trapped in my own thoughts.

And it feels so real from the outside looking in. it feels so real from the outside . . .

Again, I borrowed parts of Sarah Ann Loreth's action (Soft Window Light). For a long time, I was against the idea of using others' Photoshop actions on my images (as if that somehow didn't make them mine), but I've found them to be extremely educational.

Dreadlocks

2011-05-17T19:35:00.002-04:00

Dreadlocks, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Golden hour is much more golden with a little editing.

© alyssa jiosa

Adrianna

2011-05-14T23:56:00.002-04:00

Adrianna, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I played with the processing again. I love how rich the yellows, golds, and reds are.

That was a good day. :)

45 | 52

2011-05-14T23:10:00.002-04:00

45 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
5 | 14 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #27: Dreams

So while I am on my anti-photoshop campaign, I confess, I used photoshop for the image overlay and color enhancement. That doesn't bother me, as long as I'm not comprising the image from multiple different sources and adding details that didn't exist in the picture before, or changing the composition of the picture (such as the my levitation attempts). I did borrow parts of Sarah Ann Loreth's Photoshop action summer sun, which I found to be wondrously beautiful and extremely helpful in the processing of this picture. I've never used an action in Photoshop before, so I decided to try for the first time.

Anyways. This week has been so busy. Wednesday was my brother's birthday, yesterday I went to a friend's 18th birthday, and then I spent the night at another friend's house with eight amazing girls. Her hot tub was luxurious, and the company even more so. :)

My dreams have been dark lately. I discovered I'm not the only one on my missions team (less than three weeks until I'm in Nairobi, Kenya!) having nightmares. I honestly believe this is a combination of stress and attack - from Hell itself. It's scary stuff.
So I figured my dreams were dark enough, and I have wanted to play with double-exposure effects for a while (and I've had little free time) so I chose this image for my 52-week project.

Suffocation

2011-05-06T23:46:00.002-04:00

Suffocation, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
My sister and I had a system when I took this picture. If she ever felt like she didn't enough enough oxygen, she would raise her hand.

Concept is odd and random, I know, but this turned out exactly as I pictured it.

© alyssa jiosa

Irah

2011-05-06T23:45:00.002-04:00

Irah, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
One little song , give me strength
To leave the side and the wrong, buried safely in the past.

Listen.

From this shoot.

© alyssa jiosa

I think I know

2011-05-06T17:19:00.001-04:00

Well, I will figure this one - out on my own.

On my own.

Decode.

Reach

2011-05-05T15:32:00.002-04:00

Reach, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
© alyssa jiosa

Nic

2011-05-04T18:04:00.002-04:00

Nic, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
© alyssa jiosa

44 | 52

2011-05-04T17:49:00.002-04:00

44 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
5 | 4 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #26: Levitation

I'm not sure if I like this. I might replace it later. Bleh.

I haven't been enjoying overly-Photoshopped photos lately. I'm in my all natural organic photography mode. But I'm also committed to finishing my 52-Project through Teleidoscope, with Teleidoscope's themes. Themes motivate and challenge me, so I've greatly appreciated having them so far.

Glitter

2011-05-04T00:01:00.002-04:00

Glitter, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Some days I like to pretend I am actually participating in a 365 project, but there is no way I have the time to. So please enjoy my efforts.

Last from this shoot, I promise.

© alyssa jiosa

You're my favorite song.

2011-05-01T00:41:00.002-04:00

You're my favorite song., a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

This accidentally didn't get posted on my blog when it was posted on Flickr. Oops.

Via Flickr:
You're my favourite song, always on the tip of my tongue.

Listen.

I love how abstract music is, how you can interpret it however you'd like. I love how deeply it affects you in ways words never could. My Dad feels the same way.

© alyssa jiosa

Gold

2011-05-01T00:38:00.003-04:00

Gold, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
52-outtakes from this.

43 | 52

2011-04-30T22:59:00.002-04:00

43 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Original:

Via Flickr:
4 | 30 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #25: Magic

Listen. The song is called Sparkly, and the artist is Young Magic. Could that be any more perfect?!

Also, in case you were wondering, glitter and dreadlocks do not mix well (unless you want to semi-permanently sparkle. For all you Twihards . . . . I'm a vampire.)

Dominos

2011-04-29T23:21:00.002-04:00

Dominos, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I see problems down the line, and I know that I’m right.
Listen.

© alyssa jiosa

Adrianna

2011-04-29T18:33:00.002-04:00

Adrianna, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
This reminds me of Alice in Wonderland for some reason.

Ah well. First time I've been kicked out of a room by security. This picture is worth it, though.

© alyssa jiosa

Music

2011-04-29T16:53:00.008-04:00

Music, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I'm not much of a guitar player, but I love the instrument.

© alyssa jiosa

This Bird Had Flown

2011-04-29T16:53:00.007-04:00

This Bird Had Flown, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere, so I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.

Film-ish editing.

© alyssa jiosa

Miky

2011-04-29T16:53:00.006-04:00

Miky, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
© alyssa jiosa

I don't know if you even noticed at all.

2011-04-24T01:56:00.002-04:00

I don't know if you even noticed at all., a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Listen.

I am hitting a wall creatively when it comes to my photography. Nothing looks like I want it to lately.

42 | 52

2011-04-24T01:55:00.002-04:00

42 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
4 | 21 | 2011
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #24: Religion

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

I am a Christian. Christ died for the world, and I have accepted Him as my Savior.
I won't preach to you - even if I knew how, I would not. But I will not deny my faith or tell avoid any questions you might have. I don't know all the answers . . . but I know the most important answer.

"If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

On a side note, I can't believe for months I've been copying and pasting the date, my name, and the Teleidoscope's week (see three lines above) and updating the information - however, this entire time, I NEVER NOTICED THAT I HAD 2010 INSTEAD OF 2011. Some days I am amazed at my attention to detail (or lack thereof). My photos I edit to my definition of completion (the best I possibly can) and then I miss something so trivial as the date.

Stressed

2011-04-16T00:20:00.002-04:00

Stressed, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I want to feel better again.
Listen.

Sooc except for black and white. I enjoy the grain in this, actually.

41 | 52

2011-04-16T00:09:00.002-04:00

41 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
4 | 15 | 2010
© alyssa jiosa
Teleidoscope's Week #23: Disaster

You have no idea how much I stressed over this picture all week.

I haven't felt good since the beginning of April.

This is made of seven different photos. I edited the newspaper, too.

Iced Coffee

2011-04-14T20:17:00.002-04:00

Iced Coffee, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
On my desk. It's my happy place.
Sooc.
© alyssa jiosa

Thank You

2011-04-09T16:07:00.002-04:00

Thank You, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
+ 20,000 views on Flickr.

Dreadlocks & Sunlight

2011-04-09T16:02:00.003-04:00

Somebody's Gonna Love You., a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Turn everything off, just cover your neck.
Cause life is full of your regrets, and I should be one. Vampires in Blue Dresses, Margot & the Nuclear So and So's.

I would love this band if it wasn't for their occasional language. Thank You, Anya, for introducing me to their music.

sooc.
© alyssa jiosa

Nic

2011-04-09T15:59:00.002-04:00

Nic, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

My brother.

Sooc.

© alyssa jiosa

Lillie

2011-04-09T15:58:00.004-04:00

Bloom, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Lillie with the dogwood in my front yard. One of my favorite pictures ever taken of her.

40 | 52

2011-04-07T17:16:00.000-04:00

4 | 7 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #22: Hold My Hand

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See the sun come rising and white-wings start to fly.

Like strings of pearls in the firey sky.
I don't want to close my eyes, don't want to leave the stage now,
As the leaves applaud our stay. Birds, Emiliana Torrini

This is Lillie (right, with watch) and I (ripped jeans and hippy bracelets) holding hands. The flare and lighting are real. I edited this into black and white, and replaced part that wasn't in focus with another photo. After spending an hour shooting on my own (and having limited choices that didn't fit the theme enough to satisfy me) Lillie appeared in search of me and offered to be a part of this picture. In five minutes and three shots, I had the picture(s) I needed.

Quite Dreadful

2011-04-02T22:48:00.000-04:00

(sooc)

My new hair is very photogenic, because I'm newly dreaded.

Severed Tie

2011-04-01T21:40:00.002-04:00

Severed Tie, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

You must've fallen from the sky, you must've come here in the pourin' rain.
you took so many through the light, and now you're on your own - Fallen From the Sky, Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

Beginning of many. I went a little crazy today. Sorry it's more self-portraits. Someday I'll find willing models who meet me at random whenever inspiration strikes.

Goal: 1,000 views in 1 week.

Dreads: 1 Week Anniversary

2011-04-01T20:32:00.002-04:00

Dreads: 1 Week Anniversary, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Officially one week old. Happy Birthday my little dreadies!

Guess what Blog? I have lots of photographic gifts for you. I'll be uploading them in the next couple of days.

Mass Upload

2011-03-31T23:12:00.001-04:00

sooc.

Sooc.

I've never thought of deadnettle flowers as weeds.

Kix

This is my cousin. This picture is from last fall - I love the bokeh.

National Cathedral in Washington D.C. from our family trip in October.

Sooc.

39 | 52

2011-03-31T23:04:00.003-04:00

39 | 52, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

3 | 31 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #21: Heaven

Oh oh oh, ohoh.
Who are we? Who are we?
Can you see the wiseman, simply,
living, loving quietly? Every breath he takes, eternity, 'til the sun turns black. Till the Sun Turns Black, Ray LaMontagne

“Immediately after the distress of those days
‘the sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.'" Matthew 24:29

"The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp." Revelation 21:23

This was a particularly difficult theme for me to shoot. There is nothing that I could capture that described and depicted Heaven, because my mind can't comprehend it. So the closest thing I could photograph (while working in the confined category of self-portraits) was light - and myself symbolically looking up to the sky, because the heavens are His throne and the earth his footstool. The City spoken of in Revelations is Heaven. Matthew 24:29 is Jesus forewarning the end of the earth, when those who believe in their hearts and confess with their mouths that he is Lord will be taken into paradise.

Recently my mother told me about the book Heaven is Real , (please do not judged by its cover) which tells the astounding, chilling true story of a young four-year-old boy who, while under anesthesia during surgery, visits heaven. I am excited and awed by its contents, and I can't wait to read it after all I've heard. Oddly enough, this came up Monday evening, after I had spent time contemplating what exactly I would do for this theme, my mother (without knowing what this week's theme was) began to tell me about his story. I literally felt chills throughout my entire body when she reminded me of the child prodigy artist Akiane, who claimed that God gave her visions, despite her mother's professed atheism. She, at the age of 8, painted a portrait of Christ - and of all the portraits of Jesus the boy saw, he claimed that hers was the only true portrayal of Christ.

Do you have chills yet?

Dreads

2011-03-31T23:02:00.002-04:00

Dreads - Day 2, a photo by Alyssa Madeline on Flickr.

Explore #399

Meet my new dreads, Flickr friends. I love love love them. I wish I had more pictures to share but the sky started pouring a while ago. Hopefully a few others turned out. I'll post more soon.

So I did this yesterday. It took 4 hours, and I used multiple methods to achieve my dreads. My hairdresser separated and backcombed my roots, my mom, sister, friend, and I all twisted and ripped, and then we rolled them when we applied my homemade vegan wax (unfortunately, not homemade by me - I bought this from a woman in Colorado through eBay). I did make my locking accelerator though: sea salt, lemon juice, and water in a spray bottle.

Grain Processing

2011-03-26T14:47:00.000-04:00

I kind of like coffee. A lot.

I also kind of like Lillie a lot more.

Moustache & Me

2011-03-26T14:20:00.004-04:00

Somedays, I need to take self-portraits for me, not for my 52-week project.

1. The hair growing on the human upper lip, especially when cultivated and groomed.

2. Something similar to the cultivated, groomed hair on the human upper lip, as:

a. A group of bristles or hairs about the mouth of an animal.

b. Distinctive coloring or feathers near the beak of a bird.

c. Food or drink sticking conspicuously to the upper lip.

I like to pretend I took this with a film camera. I also like to pretend I have facial hair.

Dear Urban Outfitters -

Somedays I like to pretend I work for you as a model. Then I would finally be able to afford your clothes, because they would be free. Free is my favorite price to pay when it comes to material objects. I wanted you to know that you inspired this picture. Kind of.

Sincerely,

Alyssa

[© alyssa jiosa]

38 | 52

2011-03-26T14:06:00.000-04:00

3 | 24 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #20: Technology

Oh, oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better and Oh, oh oh, things are gonna change, they're gonna change. Dismantle. Repair. -Anberlin

Cameras (from left to right): Polaroid Highlander Model 80A (1957-59), Polaroid Sun 660 (1987), Pentax P30t (1990), Nikon D40 (2006).

The polaroids were recently given to me to sell at my yard sale fundraiser (I'm going to work in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya this summer) but I couldn't part with them. I consider all the personal money I've dedicated to this trip more than pays for them.

The Pentax was a gift from my dad's friend, and the Nikon d40 I bought to take with me on my first trip to Africa, when I went with Visiting Orphans to Ethiopia and Uganda.

| ihardlyknowher |

| black |

37 | 52

2011-03-22T23:30:00.001-04:00

3 | 19 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #19: Light/Dark

Her white blank page and a swelling rage, rage

You did not think when you sent me to the brink, the brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, affections
But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart. White Blank Page, Mumford & Sons

I have no energy to say anything else right now.

Maybe later.

Coffee: Before & After Edits

2011-03-22T23:30:00.000-04:00

My sister made the mug. I drank the coffee and took pictures of it.

Before:

After:

Flickr Update: Mass Upload (5 Flickr photos)

2011-03-22T23:23:00.000-04:00

Vintage tea - Anya and I were all dolled up. We felt quite Vogue-ish.

Anya

Anya and I had three shoots in one day.

Old picture of my brother. I love it.

Shaun, from my first official paid shoot. It was a great day.

This is a thank you for Brendan Timmons, who bought me a pro account on Flickr - the same day he discovered my photostream.

36 | 52

2011-03-09T17:46:00.002-05:00

3 | 9 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #18: Bones

Please listen while you read.

The hand of the LORD was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign LORD, you alone know.”

Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’”

Ezekiel 37:1-6

35 | 52

2011-03-03T23:03:00.000-05:00

3 | 3 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #17: Paintings

And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions, but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. - 1 Timothy 2:9-10, The Message

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

You are made in the image of the God of the Universe. You were fashioned in HIs likeness: if you are beautiful enough for Christ, who is to say you aren't beautiful enough for anyone else?

I painted this on paper and edited onto the canvas to save it for another project.

| the i am beautiful project |

| blog |

| ihardlyknowher |

Train Tracks

2011-03-02T21:43:00.000-05:00

Edited to look like film. Is it a success?

Jessie

The wolves came on the radio,

transmitted through a portal in the snowy Atlas Mountains. Snowy Atlas Mountains, Fionn Regan.

photos © alyssa jiosa

TOMS

2011-03-02T00:17:00.001-05:00

TOMS

Black Botas.

I wear them every day.

I love them.

And I love TOMS' mission.

They're so comfortable and so stylish.

Photos © alyssa jiosa

Costco Sells Everything - Except Indie Kids

2011-02-27T02:35:00.000-05:00

I am convinced
that we should be friends
We compare our hearts
to things that fly
But cannot land. - We Could Be Friends, Freelance Whales

Wesley and Jessie:

Jessie, bokeh, and her beautiful chameleon hair.

Bokeh.

Smile, Jessie. :)

There's a spider on your face."

"Wha-"

Candid.

Mulan moment. Because that's how we live life.

Thanks, guys, for letting me share the afternoon with you and your church group. I enjoyed spending time with everyone and serving with you!

34 | 52

2011-02-27T00:46:00.001-05:00

2 | 26 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #16: Standing Still

The collapse of the world on the quietest day; this time it's the sun standing still. But holding on hope for something that's good; I've come now as far as I can go today . . . in this vast empty space

- . . . Still, Deas Vail

Today, I had nothing to do, so I packed my tripod and gear in my new camera bag, walked to the end of my street, and climbed the steep hill there until I found the exact location for this picture. My only plan was to find a spot with a large amount of a plentiful amount of bokeh.

I honestly had no idea what this picture was going to be, because my original 52-Week Project picture concept didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. And today was too beautiful to stay inside.

I went to serve dinner to the homeless through the Room at the Inn program at a local church with a friend. We had so much fun - and she and her boyfriend modeled for me before we helped make beds and serve food.

| black |

| ihardlyknowher |

Uganda, June '09 Video w/ Proverbs 31:8 Shirts & Slouch Hats

2011-02-26T01:36:00.003-05:00

Knit beanies and Proverbs 31:8 Shirts now for sale as a fundraiser for my Nairobi Kenya missions trip this summer.

Beanie

Handmade (knit to order) hats

different colors available

$20, includes yarn, time, and knitting.

One hat. Two styles.

Shirt

Proverbs 31:8 Ethiopia / Uganda design Girls' L t-shirts - $15

(they run really small - I'm wearing my large in the picture).

Only 6 shirts left; get them while they last!

All proceeds directly benefit Alyssa's trip to Nairobi Kenya. If you would like to place an order, please email alyssajiosa@ymail.com

Visiting Orphans Uganda, June '09 Trip

Video : Worship

(Note: you can pause the blog's music at the bottom of the page)

"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp."

Psalm 149:3

Sunset Bokeh

2011-02-19T16:43:00.001-05:00

Sarah

Annie

Mandy

Beautiful, aren't they? I'm so glad they were willing volunteer models. The sunset was absolutely gorgeous and I had to take advantage of it.

I'm a bit disappointed with my manual focus and high ISO. Sigh. I'm working on it.

All pictures SOOC.

33 | 52

2011-02-18T00:08:00.000-05:00

2 | 17 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #15: Stripes

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Tracing patterns

Across a personal map
And making pictures
Where the lines overlap
Where the lines overlap - Where the Lines Overlap, Paramore

Honestly, I'm not sure if I like this song (and before you ask, yes, I am a Paramore fan) but this verse fit perfectly.

Life is good right now. It's dragging a little, and I'm worried for some friends, but I'm not sure what to do.

I smell like a campfire. Just in case you wanted to know that. Today my sister boiled down all her sap on a fire in our front yard. Yes, that's right, folks - she's made maple syrup, and I watched. Fancy that.

Postscript: that's soot on my face, from the above mentioned fire. It's very hard to wash off - if you ever use ashes as face paint, avoid getting it wet until after you've wiped off as much as possible while it's still dry. Then use baby oil to wipe the rest off, and finally wash your face. I learned this the hard way. (No, I am not angry in this picture. I am intense. The end).

| black |

| blog |

| ihardlyknowher |

World Nutella Day

2011-02-12T00:04:00.001-05:00

The lighting at Publix is surprisingly wonderful for photography.

I spent the evening celebrating World Nutella Day (Feb. 5) with my friends Elle, Claire, Gracie, Lillie, and Adrianna. It was a wonderful evening. Unfortunately, Elle always managed to escape my camera, or my focus / settings were wrong, or she blinked, etc., so circumstances prevented any beautiful portraits of one of my gorgeous best friends.

It has been decided that to my life goal is to take a picture of her that she likes.

The Ripple Effect

2011-02-11T00:57:00.002-05:00

The cold was biting as I trailed through the tight bamboo stalks after my group of friends. Ahead, through the leaves, I saw three of them as they dashed across the open field. Laughter drifted back to me in the wind. I shivered. My frosty fingers tightened around my camera. The paint on my hands and clothes had hardened on my skin.

I bent to crawl out of the entrance. I felt exposed and insignificant in the open space. I missed the green and the exotic thoughts attached to the bamboo. But I'm excited, too. We're headed for the decayed cabin on my friend's property.

Already, we've painted an entire basement, consumed dinosaur fruit snacks, and enjoyed a delicious pot of homemade chili. Now, outside, we're all covered in war paint and freezing, but is doesn't matter. We're together and we're full of life.

I wanted this day to last longer. It's went too fast. The older I get, the faster time flies. Based on my parents' conversations, I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Inside the ruined building, people darted back and forth between the rooms. Our footsteps echoed, our voices carried, our breath lingered in the air. I stepped on a piece of broken glass - it shattered beneath my feet. Anya and I pulled out our cameras. The sound of the shutter opening and closing is one of my favorite sounds in the world, I reflect.
This is happiness.

I blinked, and the moment was over.

The memory, however, will last.

Carina

Lillie

Nic & Emily

These were taken on Saturday, after I watched my prayers answered before my eyes: a group of my friends responded to someone's need in a huge way. We painted the walls of a flood-damaged home, owned by a family from our church. I almost cried, and I'm not one for crying.

For months I have dreamt of inspiring other high school students to be missionaries, where they are, when they're there. And while it's true my incredible friends already work hard in changing the world, I hoped to create more opportunities for them to step up. For God to put me in a position to do this was so humbling. I'm so thankful I was able to be a part of this. I was given the tools, the skills, and the time to do this.

Last Saturday was so, so much fun. Multiple people share this sentiment. The joy was pure and selfless and simple; it was born through serving. "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Acts 20:35

Our efforts did not go unnoticed: we have created a ripple effect. It's slow and gradual, but it's spreading. We will not leave our generation untouched. This movement will travel in ways I can't even imagine.

I was sad when February 5, 2011 ended.

But I do look forward to serving with my favorite people again in the future.

You all know who you are. I love you guys.

- Alyssa

32 | 52

2011-02-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

2 | 9 | 2010

Teleidoscope's Week #14: Pain

well i've been here before, sat on the floor in a grey grey room. where i stay in all day. i don't eat, but i play with this grey grey food. desole, if someone is prayin' then i might break out,

desole, even if i scream i can't scream that loud. i'm all alone again, crawling back home again, stuck by the phone again. - Grey Room, Damian Rice

Pain is empty and bleak. It plagues you. You live suspended, and your entire focus is on the suffering.

Interpret this as you will. I can't quite explain it.

postscript: the mask is from an at-home CPR dummy. This is two pictures pasted together because I had to hold the mask on. My skills with Photoshop are gradually improving.

| black |

| ihardlyknowher |

February 1.

2011-02-09T21:28:00.000-05:00

Adrianna

Anya

Lillie

These were taken on February 1, 2011. Anya and I had an official photo-shoot; the weather was beautiful, and we decided we were going to a state park, one of the most beautiful parks I've even been to. Our official photo-shoot was unfortunately cancelled, but we still went with our lovely besties / proteges, Lillie and Adrianna. It was a fabulous day.

31 | 52

2011-02-04T16:50:00.001-05:00

2 | 4 | 2011

Teleidoscope's Week #13: Night

Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms. Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone? - You Are The Moon, The Hush Sound

Yeah. I'm wearing an eye mask, for those of you wondering. I got it in my "survival packet" from Ethiopian Airlines. I didn't wear it on the flight to Ethiopia. It wasn't necessary - I slept for approximately five minutes (with the aid of a sleeping pill) before I was sadly torn from my sweet slumber, and the flight was over sixteen hours long.

Bleh.

I'm overwhelmed with life right now.

Whenever I'm overwhelmed with life, I write a to-do list to put my thoughts in order. It helps remind me that if this is all I have to worry about today, than I am blessed. However, the reminder isn't working at this point and time.

Alyssa's To-Do List

1. Rehearse Bass

2. Practice form

3. Homework

4. Get dressed (I'm in still in my pajamas right now. Oh, the blessings of homeschooling).

5. Write

6. Fundraise for Nairobi missions trip (who knows how I'll do this. God will provide . . . but that doesn't mean I should sit around and wait for money to fall from the sky. Though that would be very convenient, God. Just a suggestion).

7. Knit hats (for fundraising)

8. Clean closet / room

9. edit and post pictures from Sunday's photoshoot

10. clean off computer

11. finish organizing tomorrow's serving Saturday (local missions work to help my community recover from the May 2010 flood)

12. Finish my dad's birthday gift (yeah . . . his birthday was in January).

13. Shopping with Adrianna (my sister . . . for her birthday gift. I gave her money to buy a new purse - I wanted her to pick it out).

14. find job

15. 52 - Week project picture - (just finished!)

16. Remain calm.

Gah. Excuse me. I have to go scream now.

p.s. new blog template!

Red Tree Coffee

2011-01-28T22:02:00.001-05:00

Because my pictures were a bit over-exposed, I decided to experiment with vintage-like processing.

Anya and I convinced Irah to model for us on a spur-of-the-moment photo shoot at the Red Tree Coffee House.

I managed to recruit to Savannah model for us next.

Anya and I.

The following five pictures are sooc (straight out of the camera, or unedited)

I love that her shirt, jeans, and eyes all match the decor and the wall.

Candid.

Yep. Definitely candid.

30 | 52

2011-01-26T17:02:00.000-05:00

1 | 26 | 2011

Teleidoscope's Week #12

Theme: Oxygen**

Series: Elements | Part II - Water |

| Inspired by Thrice's Alchemy Index, Vol. II - Water |

Ten thousand men sleep down with Davy Jones;

with stolen treasure they tithe.
The open water chills me to my bones,
but it's the only place that I feel alive. - Open Water, Thrice

So I've decided to join the Teleidoscope Group for the remainder of my 52-Week Project. I think it will be helpfully challenging to have a theme every week. And yes, this picture does relate to the theme. Lucky for me, yes? Because I took this picture last week and have continually edited it since then. The first day I spent over 3 hours on it. Total, I would estimate that this picture has at least 5 hours of my time invested in it. And honestly, I'm very proud of this. I know there are mistakes, but it's also my second attempt at a levitation picture. I captured the emotion I wanted, and the imperfections complete this picture in an odd way that I think only I can fully appreciate.

As I wrote earlier, this picture captured my emotion. My weeks are blurring together. They seem like repeats. I feel as if I'm living the same day over and over again. I have no direction, no specific plan or event to look forward to or dedicate my hopes to. I am just . . .drifting. I am not unhappy. I am not restless. I just exist. I get my school work done. I finish my chores. I spend time working on pictures, playing bass, reading, going to church, hanging with friends, shooting zombies with my brother on his PS3. I don't feel as if something is missing. I just feel like it is what it is.

Thoughts float around my head. I reach out to touch them and they evaporate. As if I am underwater, I can't see clearly. I can't tell where the sound if coming from. While I'm awake, I feel as if I'm dreaming. My eyes are heavy and I fade in and out . . . I am so deeply emerged in my own head, when I blink, I forget what I was thinking about. I don't realize you're talking to me. I don't finish my sentences . . . I am not fully here. Yet I don't know where to find the pieces of myself I'm missing. I'm not sure what is missing . . . I don't know if I ever had it.

Maybe I did have it. Maybe I still do - it's just asleep. But how do I find it? How do I awaken it?

So I drift. I float through everything without fully engaging. I exist underwater - I let the current carry my weight. I could try and swim, I suppose. I could try, but I don't know if I want to. I don't know if I'm strong enough.

Good thing I don't have to be.

I'm thankful I don't have to do this alone.

*I do not claim ownership or credit for the photograph of water I used as texture in this picture.

**Oxygen is the most abundant element on earth. Oxygen exists as O2 and O3 (ozone), and is present in a number of compounds including water molecules. It can be found dissolved in water as O2 molecules. Consequently, the oxygen content of seawater is 85.7%. Read more here.

| Black |

29 | 52

2011-01-20T19:38:00.000-05:00

1 | 20 | 2011

The lion is outside of your door, the wolf is in your bed.The lion's claws are sharp and for war, the wolf's teeth are red. - The Lion and the Wolf, Thrice

A wolf stole a lamb from the flock, and was carrying it off to devour it at his leisure when he met a Lion, who took his prey away from him and walked off with it. He dared not resist, but when the Lion had gone some distance he said, "It is most unjust of you to take what's mine away from me like that." The Lion laughed and called out in reply, "It was justly yours, no doubt! The gift of a friend, perhaps, eh?" - Aesop's Fable, the Wolf and the Lion

For the second week in a row, my 52-Week project picture reveals my darker self. To me, darkness is not a synonym for sin. I've always acknowledged that they both exist, but separately. There is something in me, some spiritual component, that seeks out the morbid and macabre with a hungry curiosity. I love Edgar Allan Poe. I love metaphysical lyrics and haunting music. I am oddly fascinated by the poltergeist materializations and ghost stories. Ever since I was a child, I have been intrigued by human and animal remains (we have an unmethodical collection of bones in my yard that gradually amassed). And since I was a baby, I have been a night owl. I love the night.

This picture was inspired by my darker emotions. This week in church, the message revolved around the subject of identity: when you look into the mirror, who do you see? When you look into your heart, what do you see? When you look into your past, who were you? When you look into your future, who do you want to be?

And, most importantly, who are you now?

I know who I want to be. I know who I've been. But as I sat in the audience and really, truly looked at myself, I had no idea how to describe myself. Who am I? The thought churned. It echoed, trapped. I could feel it pressing against my skull. I know who I am. I always have. Haven't I?

Or . . .

Have I been speaking through a counterfeit, puppeteered mannequin? Have I played the ventriloquist? Have I impersonated the polished version of myself? Have I disguised my blemishes with my own hopes? And is this wrong?

| Black |

28 | 52

2011-01-12T21:43:00.000-05:00

1 | 12 | 2011

I can't escape the twisted way you think of me.

I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep.
You belong to me, my Snow White Queen. - Snow White Queen, Evanescence

Picture inspired by this.

This picture is one of my favorites from my 52-Week Project. I spent hours processing it. I started by playing with "frosted" make-up looks this morning and went out in the snow with my camera. Then I went a-Googling to find frost tutorials for Photoshop and spent an hour on a texturizing tutorial that was really just a texture with a stock image of frost. I was upset about that, but I did learn a lot of new shortcuts. Next I spent thirty minutes looking for free Photoshop brushes. It was worth it, just very time-consuming. Ah well.

So we currently have three and half inches of snow! It's lovely. My young brother, sister, and neighbor (who qualifies as my sister - you can see her pictures here) spent yesterday and the day before sledding down our neighborhood's intense hills, trekking about on snow-inspired adventures, and spiking surprise snowballs at each other. We finished these two fabulous days with homemade hot chocolate and triple chocolate cookies and an old-fashioned fire in the fireplace. Mmmm.

So lately I've felt like writing again - poetry, lyrics, fiction, blog posts, journal entries, whatever. I never stopped writing, but I haven't written nearly half as much lately as I used to. It's a blessing, yes, but my darker emotions are what sparked it.

I suppose my dark side dictated this picture's outcome, as well.

Darkness is not a synonym for evil.

I do not equate darkness with sin.
If we did not have darkness, how could we have light?
We cannot have one without the other.
We would not exist.

27 | 52

2011-01-08T21:29:00.000-05:00

1 | 8 | 2011

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on

Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away

It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright - The Middle, Jimmy Eat World

I usually only post one verse of lyrics, but this song has so much lyrical significance in my life right now. On a particularly bad day recently, my sister was blasting the radio from the other room. Personally, I hate the radio, because I'm not in control of what they play and when they play it, so I never willingly listen to it. But I when I heard everything, everything will be just fine - everything, everything will be alright I knew God was speaking to me through the simple communication of the radio. When I looked up the song, I had no idea it was by Jimmy Eat World (I only own their album Futures, and I really like it), who I had just been listening to. Another sign? Yes, I think so. And last week I decided that since I want to learn the bass, and since I love this song in its entirety (I immediately bought it off iTunes instead of waiting to buy the entire album in hard copy form) I was going to learn to play it. I'm still working on it, but I've made tremendous progress since I began.

Last night I spent with one of my best friends, Anya. I watched Inception for the first time. I literally had no idea how incredibly mind-blowing and brilliant that movie was. The script was exceptionally in-depth, thorough, and thrillingly psychological. The soundtrack was extremely well-done and fitting (though who could expect less of Hans Zimmer?). The cinematography was extraordinary; the CG entirely convincing - the best I've ever seen. The editing was precise; the acting was experienced and skilled; the directing impeccable. Every single second was significant to the film. That was truly awesome. To say it simply, I loved this movie. It is the best movie I have ever seen. And for those of you who are wondering . . . the top totally fell over at the end. I know it.

Today Anya and I had a shoot planned; however, I must admit that not only am I a wimp when it comes to the cold, I am also very sensitive to extreme temperatures. I don't know if this is because of the fever-induced seizure I had when I was a baby, but my body temperature has always been below normal and I have never tolerated heat. Three times I have suffered from heat exhaustion severe enough that I almost blacked out. When alternating between two different extremes (such as going in and outside from warmth the cold and vice versa) my body has difficulty adjusting.

So while Anya and I were outside in the lovely, beautiful winter weather (with a high of 29 degrees!) taking pictures in clothing ill-equipped for the situation, I could only model long enough for her to get some potential shots for her 52-Week Project, before I lost all feeling in my finger, toes, and face. Therefore I was unable to get any selfies for my own 52 set or any portraits of her. Bleh.

So I had a vision for this week's picture, but it failed miserably and I am too exhausted to try again. Hence old picture, new edit. It's noisy enough that it almost looks like film grain, and I actually really like it.

And based on my week's experiences, I have a new quote: "People are a lot like the $0.25 EPs and demos at the check-out counter of McKays - most of them will disappoint you because they aren't nearly as good as their artwork. But then, every once in a while, you'll find some that surprise you. And rarely, you'll even find one you love." - Alyssa Jiosa

Deep, huh?

2010 Wheelwright Christmas

2011-01-06T17:11:00.000-05:00

These are just a few favorites from my church's Christmas missions trip to the Appalachian mountains.

From Flickr:

Snow is pretty - almost as pretty as Lauryn.

Anya

I am truly blessed with such a beautiful friend.
See her Photostream here.
Sooc.

p.s. this is my favorite picture I've ever taken of Anya.

Rachel

Hottest Elf Ever.

Elizabeth

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Careful, Liz! You're melting all the snow.

Carly is cute.

Agreed?

I'm happy I was able to hang out with her this weekend for the first time. It was fun . . . we definitely had an adventurous van ride home!

Peter

We served chili together - Peter scooped turkey, and I handled the beef. I don't think this contest will ever end... and neither will The Chili Dance.

Doll

She is adorable. She makes me smile.

Snow is delicious, don'cha know?

SheissocuteIdon'tthinkIcanstandit.

From Facebook:

All pictures sooc (straight out of the camera).